Wounds from a friend...

I was reading through the life and events of the passion week. This is the week that leads up to Jesus' trial, death, and resurrection. And there is this story (John 13) about Jesus eating the last supper with his disciples, and during it he states that one of them will betray him.

Jesus is obviously upset about this whole situation, which is probably why he tells them about it. So Peter wants to know who this guy is? An honest question, to be sure...or was it? I started thinking about his question and can only come up with one thing. Peter is really not wanting to know who it is...but rather he is stating that it is not him.

Sure Peter cares and loves Jesus, but it seems that he is really more interested in coming across as a "good" disciple. Peter would not dare betray Jesus right? I mean, he is the "rock" just like Jesus said he was. Peter would die for Jesus, and he would give up all that he is for Jesus. That is why he is trying to find out who is going to betray Jesus, because he knows that his realtionship with Jesus is the perfect "model" among the diciples.

I guess we are all just like Peter aren't we? We judge our relationship with Christ by not what we do...but by what we don't do. How many times do we say to others..."At least I am not as bad as ______" or "At least I don't do that?"

That is what Peter is doing. But a few verses later, Jesus calls out Peter. He tells Peter that he is going to deny Jesus three times. Wait a second...isnt this the same Peter who wants to know who is the bad disciple? Yup, but here he is being called out by Jesus...because Jesus knows that although Judas' heart isn't right...neither is Peter's heart.

We all need to learn this lesson. None of us are where we need to be. None of our hearts are right. None of us are the hero. Only Jesus is...

During this Easter season may we all understand that Jesus loves us all, but we all need to be the people that we were created to be. Our hearts are always in a desperate need of reevaluation, and they need to be closer molded into the image of Jesus himself. Judas was a betrayer, and Peter was a denier...how much worse are we?

Jesus, forgive me...forgive me for being so much worse than your own disciples. Help me become what I truly need to be...help me become more like you.